If you consider love as a complex thing, you have a good tendency to see marriage as a very complicated matter. For sure the thought won’t easily sink in especially if you are in the early stages of matrimony. But feelings can fade especially if after some time one of you reveals an attitude that the other cannot accept. This can lead to an ongoing conflict between you and your spouse and the fight goes on until you want to give up. Here are telling signs that mean it’s time to call it quits with your spouse:
The closeness and constant show of affection from both partners is a manifestation of a happy relationship. A person who cares for his or her significant other may show it through text and other means, and for sure it deserves a response. The absence of constant communication and show of concern can create distance which could lead to loss of affection.
2. Stressful Relationship
If you feel stressed instead of being happy in the presence of your partner, or if you are always wondering what he or she is up to, then your relationship is having problems.
3. No More “We” or “Us”
Marriage is a union. It will only work if both partners respect and consider the feelings of each other. Every major decision has to be made together by the husband and wife because as married couple, you have become one. But if one or both partners don’t consider the other as part of his or her being and decides to act alone, their marriage has a problem.
4. No Time for Each Other
Marriage will stay strong if both husband and wife spend quality time for each other. As a couple, you should find time for each other as a display of affection and to show how important your partner is to you and vice versa. This is certainly present during the first few years of your marriage, but when excuses and pretense come to take its place and you feel you are no longer important to your spouse, it’s time for you to evaluate the situation.
If the relationship starts to make you feel alone, sad and hopeless even in the presence of your spouse, you might be depressed. Don’t let depression ruin your life. If this happens to you, seek the help of a professional counsellor before things get worse.
6. Waning Sexual Relationship
If the sexual “electricity” you once had for each other has died, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship especially if both of you are still young. It is not abnormal to be sexually low sometimes but if the desire is lost even in the absence of medical issues, there’s a problem that needs to be addressed.
7. Lack of Communication
If the once lively interaction you had with your spouse suddenly becomes silence or if your calls and text messages are no longer answered like they used to be, you should search for answers before it’s too late.
8. Frequent Fighting
If you no longer find a common subject matter to agree on, if the majority of your conversations end up in heated arguments, and if you or your partner is pre-occupied with fault finding even on trivial matters, you might not be able to continue that marriage in a healthy manner.
9. Fading Self-Esteem
Happily married couples have high self-esteem because of the support each one gives the other. But if one or both partners lose respect for the other and tries to control or bring him/her down, it might be the proper time to walk away. You should not allow anyone, even your husband or wife to rob you of your life. You have all the right to be happy.
These are just signs of an impending marriage problem. If you notice any of these in your relationship, you must not take it for granted. Try to fix it by seeing a counsellor. As much as possible, you should try to salvage your marriage to keep it from becoming part of statistics. But if after a considerable amount of time you see that all your efforts didn’t work, you should bring your case to a competent divorce lawyer.
Lori is a corporate consultant whose experience and area of expertise are on fund administration, debt collection, wealth management and personnel administration. He likes to share his insights about business corporate solutions, sustainability & management, and a lot of human interest stories including health, wellness and self-improvement .