Tumisu / Pixabay/making comparisons
“Comparison is the death of joy.” ― Mark Twain
If you constantly find yourself measuring your looks, strengths and achievements against others’, you are not alone. You must have heard reminders similar to Twain’s before, and they may seem like pointless nags.
Pointless or not, he was right. Comparing yourself with others, whether in terms of looks, achievements or status, is the death of joy. The negativity that comes with doing it is self-destructive. Becoming conscious of its signs and taking steps to get rid of them is a way to show compassion to yourself.
Constantly judging yourself by another person’s standards compromises your self-esteem. There will always be a relative or friend who seems to walk on a better-lit path of life than you do. If you constantly judge yourself by such standards, you will never feel good about yourself.
Successful people seem to have it all on the surface, but there are countless layers of failure underneath. You will have to move through the same layers to rise to the surface, like they have. To add, you cannot judge your own worth by measuring it against someone else’s, because everyone encounters different obstacles on the path to success.
Comparison has a flip side as well. If you persistently believe in your own superiority, you ignore important areas of improvement that may damage relationships and slow your progress.
You know that you tend to make these damaging comparisons if you find yourself constantly accessing if someone is fatter, thinner, taller or shorter. You may find yourself scrutinizing yourself in the mirror and wondering why clothes seem to look better on yourself than others. They always seem to have prettier faces, and seem more confident than you. You persistently conclude that they are happier than you are.
If you have the habit of constantly using others as benchmarks for evaluating looks, status and other norms, these suggestions can stop the vicious cycle.
For a start, avoid making value judgments, If you find yourself criticizing yourself or others for being uglier, less smart or richer, It is time for a mindset shift. Appreciate others for their talents or looks, without throwing comparison into the mix. Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of your own good qualities. It reminds you to show kindness to yourself.
Work on improving your own abilities instead of envying others for theirs. This is more productive than making a comparison that will only leave you languishing fruitlessly in self-doubt.
Avoid counter-productive comparison and bear yourself in mind.