Handling a bullying doppelganger



Image Attribution: 14398 CC-BY (Public Domain) http://pixabay.com/en/cyber-bullying-bully-rumor-teasing-122156/


If you have spent some time on Earth, you have probably met the bullying doppelganger, who takes many shapes and forms.

His  behavior is grating, abusive and absolutely unwelcome.  Anyone would react to it with anger, especially when it happens spontaneously. It is not easy to approach it compassionately if you are his victim.

However, responding to it with a little kindness for him, and yourself, will help to ease the situation.

This doppelganger is flexible.  In a school, he could take the shape of a boy, physically attacking those who are weaker. If this being takes the shape of a girl, she would, in a safe group, ostracize or gossip about you. In the workplace, he would pass snide criticisms about your performance or deliberately create difficult situations for his co-workers.

This doppelgänger is more vulnerable that he seems. He has probably been a victim of bullying himself, or has problems at home. These reasons, together with his low self-esteem, make him show bullying behavior. Often jealous, he cannot accept differences, and wants to put himself in more powerful position.

It is definitely difficult to handle a bullying doppelgänger with compassion, but doing so is not impossible. You and he need a little kindness.

Approach his behavior from a different point of view. He may have problems that are difficult to deal with, so speaking to a trusted authority figure who can give him the counseling he needs may help. Enabling him by allowing him to put you down is being unkind to him, because it actually prompts him to continue his unhealthy behavior. His bullying conduct will eventually earn him disrespect.  Tell him to stop, and if he does not, simply distance yourself from him.

Have some thought for yourself. Do not blame yourself for his behavior. Share your feelings and seek trusted support. Often, a touch of humor eases the situation.

Reacting with kindness, instead of hostility to a bullying doppelgänger is no simple feat. Still,  it helps to ease his bullying over time.

Image Attribution: 14398 CC-BY (Public Domain)


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  1. Marcia @ Menopausal Mother
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