If I Fall If I Die

The boy stepped Outside, and he did not die….
Actually, incredibly: nothing happened.

If I Fall, If I Die

If I Fall, If I Die is available from Amazon.com in hardback, paperback and Kindle editions.

Before that day, Will had never been outside.  Not since he was a baby, too young to remember the experience.

“If I Fall If I Die” is about Will, whose mother is agoraphobic, afraid even to open their own front door.  She also suffers from other panic attacks.  Panic attacks about everything.  Will calls them “Black Lagoons” and he knows for sure that if she knew he was Outside, she would suffer the biggest Black Lagoon ever.

But as nothing happens to him, he begins to rethink his life.

She had never forbidden him to go out, so he went out, and met a boy.

You know what?  I was wrong when I said you should go back inside.  There’s nothing to be scared of out here.

Will becomes a little obsessed with that “brave” boy, so unafraid of the Outside.  That encounter opens Will’s life in ways he never expected.  He enrolls himself in school, hoping to find the boy again.  He meets Jonah instead.

Jonah teaches him to skateboard and together they look for a missing local boy.  In their adventures they meet a cray, and possibly dangerous, vagabond who calls himself Titus.  They also find themselves with the unwanted attentions of a local bootlegger, who is dangerous without a doubt.

All this time Will’s mother is Inside.  She’s battling her fears as best she can.  As her house goes dark and empty without will she finds herself retreating into the safe confines of her Relaxation machine.  She starts to revisit her past, looking for a hint as to why she became so afraid of everything.

Will considered how, more than anything else, the Outside had taught him that there wasn’t much difference between loving someone and being afraid of them.

This is a coming of age novel, full of adventure and suspense.  It is also a touching family novel, about love, and letting go.

It is as much about Will’s mother, Diane, as it it about will.  She is struggling with her own fear, as well as her desire to let her so go and live his live, away from her own panic.  She wants him to live, but wants him to be safe as well.

Can Will love his mother, and still leave her Inside as he moves ever forward into the Outside world?
Can Diane still protect the most important thing in her life, when she can’t venture as far as her own front porch?

If I Fall, If I Die is the debut novel of Michael Christie, formally a professional skateboarder, who set the story in his own hometown of Thunder Bay.


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